Sometimes I try so hard to stay in control that I miss out on the little pleasures in life. I try so incredibly hard not to look naive, that I become more cynical than I want to be.
I want to slow down. I want to take my time and marvel at this wonderful world. At this wonderful city. I want to take pictures. I want to be a tourist. I don't want to care what other people think.
I want to make mistakes. I don't want to anticipate the things that are going to go wrong. I want to be surprised, both pleasantly and unpleasantly. I want to take chances.
I want that childlike innocence and curiosity about everything and everyone in my life.
I'm a waitress trying to be a performer in New York City. I have to accept that. I'm a total cliche and I can't pretend I'm not. But I have to be proud of my career choice, and own up to it in front of other people. I don't have to always make jokes about it. I don't have to make excuses for what I'm doing with my life.
1 comment:
When I sit on the underground here with a smile on my face and singing a Gershwin tune I just think, ¨wow everyone looks so stoic and unhappy, I wish Mikah were here and we could smile on the subway together.¨ But I keep smiling and I don´t care what others think. Ang guess what, it´s completely cliche to be an au pair here. So don´t feel bad, I´m a cliche too. And I don´t mind.
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