I've been thinking about this lately. Why do I like to blog? I said I started so I could keep in touch with friends, but that hasn't really been the case. Blogging is actually kind of useless. So why continue? I have a couple of theories.
One reason I blog: I like to write.
Another reason I blog: To help keep my mind in order. I am, by nature, a mess. Scatterbrained, unorganized, whatever you want to call it. Writing down my thoughts helps me put everything together.
And the main reason I blog: I adore talking about myself! I used to feel very guilty about this, but now I just revel in it. I can't help that I find myself fascinating. But I also find all other people fascinating. I love learning about what makes people tick.
And on that note...I want to talk about the Meyers-Briggs personality test! I love it. It's like reading your horoscope profile, but actually based in some kind of reality.
I am an ENFP. Extroverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving. I think. I've taken a million of these tests, and they all come out saying that, but it's always a close race between introvert and extrovert. The ENFP is a "Champion Idealist." It's almost scary how well it describes me. Short attention span, no eye for detail, restless, and check this out: "ENFPs almost always have a strong need to be liked. Sometimes, especially at a younger age, an ENFP will tend to be "gushy" and insincere, and generally "overdo" in an effort to win acceptance. However, once an ENFP has learned to balance their need to be true to themselves with their need for acceptance, they excel at bringing out the best in others, and are typically well-liked." I really think that hits the nail right on the head. Here's a short but sweet summary. What do you guys think? I know that some of it describes what how I want to be seen and not how I really am, but some of it really does fit me perfectly.
If you don't know your type and want to take the test, here's a decent one. And here's another. Let me know what you are! It might explain why we get along so well. Or why we clash. :) Fun, right?
currently reading: don't know much about history by kenneth c. davis
currently listening to: les demoiselles de rochefort soundtrack
Monday, December 31, 2007
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
fresh start
I just realized most of my blogs are about food. This one isn't. It's the typical New Years Resolutions blog, and if you'll notice, there's not one thing in it about dieting or black & white cookies or anything. Yeah, I'm awesome. So here goes:
1. Start taking classes and auditioning. By word of mouth, I've found a vocal coach and a good dance studio both decently priced. Now I just have to find some kind of acting or improvisational class and I'm all set.
2. While getting back into theatre, I want to stay balanced. Have other interests besides theatre. After all, theatre is now my profession and I don't want it to be my only hobby too. I've always been interested in philosophy but I'm pretty ignorant so I think I'm actually going to take this weekly intro to philosophy class. I saw an ad on the subway and I think it's fate. Along these lines, I want to read more. Not just trashy chick lit, but things that might actually improve my mind. Oh, and fairy tales. I know that sounds silly but I bought two complete leather bound sets of fairy tales (one Grimm, one Hans Christian Anderson) and I can't wait to dive into them. Have you ever read the real Little Mermaid? Creepy, man. There's something about original fairy tales that's so fascinating to me. Something about the contrast of darkness and happily ever afters.
3. Stay organized. I realize I'll never be super clean (blame it on my creative side, ha), but I can make a decent attempt. When my room is cluttered my mind is cluttered; it's true. You'd think that would be motivation enough to clean. But damn...it isn't.
4. Get my finances in order. Actually create a budget and stick to it. (I'm such an adult.)
I think that's all I can put on the list if I want to get anything specific accomplished at all.
So, 2008, eh? A completely brand new year. In the city. I can't believe that I'm actually "being" that starving artist I talked about being for so long. It's odd, but I wasn't ever afraid. I like that. I like that I just jumped into it. I want to approach everything in life that way. I think if you just take chances, doors will open. They may not be the doors you expect, so you have to watch carefully, but they'll open nonetheless. Suck it up and go for whatever you want. We were not born to settle into routine and pay taxes. We were born to create and explore. There's so much more out there. So...(I hope this doesn't sound pretentious, because I'm trying to take my own advice) if anyone is reading this, I hope you feel a bit inspired to go out and take pictures, smile at strangers, shake up the scene around you, and fall a little in love with life.
Happy New Years! I love you guys.
1. Start taking classes and auditioning. By word of mouth, I've found a vocal coach and a good dance studio both decently priced. Now I just have to find some kind of acting or improvisational class and I'm all set.
2. While getting back into theatre, I want to stay balanced. Have other interests besides theatre. After all, theatre is now my profession and I don't want it to be my only hobby too. I've always been interested in philosophy but I'm pretty ignorant so I think I'm actually going to take this weekly intro to philosophy class. I saw an ad on the subway and I think it's fate. Along these lines, I want to read more. Not just trashy chick lit, but things that might actually improve my mind. Oh, and fairy tales. I know that sounds silly but I bought two complete leather bound sets of fairy tales (one Grimm, one Hans Christian Anderson) and I can't wait to dive into them. Have you ever read the real Little Mermaid? Creepy, man. There's something about original fairy tales that's so fascinating to me. Something about the contrast of darkness and happily ever afters.
3. Stay organized. I realize I'll never be super clean (blame it on my creative side, ha), but I can make a decent attempt. When my room is cluttered my mind is cluttered; it's true. You'd think that would be motivation enough to clean. But damn...it isn't.
4. Get my finances in order. Actually create a budget and stick to it. (I'm such an adult.)
I think that's all I can put on the list if I want to get anything specific accomplished at all.
So, 2008, eh? A completely brand new year. In the city. I can't believe that I'm actually "being" that starving artist I talked about being for so long. It's odd, but I wasn't ever afraid. I like that. I like that I just jumped into it. I want to approach everything in life that way. I think if you just take chances, doors will open. They may not be the doors you expect, so you have to watch carefully, but they'll open nonetheless. Suck it up and go for whatever you want. We were not born to settle into routine and pay taxes. We were born to create and explore. There's so much more out there. So...(I hope this doesn't sound pretentious, because I'm trying to take my own advice) if anyone is reading this, I hope you feel a bit inspired to go out and take pictures, smile at strangers, shake up the scene around you, and fall a little in love with life.
Happy New Years! I love you guys.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
eat pray love
So, I'm reading this fantastic book called Eat Pray Love. You may have heard of it; it's a Times bestseller. It's incredibly inspiring. This woman was unhappy for awhile and she couldn't figure out why. She was just unhappy. One day she woke up and couldn't take anymore. She realized that something HAD to change. So she decided to changed everything about her life. She got a divorce. She decided to travel the world for a year: four months in Italy, four months in India, and four months in Indonesia. She wanted to experience pleasure in Italy, spirituality in India, and a balance in Indonesia.
Anyway, the reason I'm bringing this book up is not to get into a deep discussion about meditation and life and all that complex stuff. I just wanted to talk about the first section of the book: the "pleasure" section. She spent her time in Italy doing nothing but enjoying herself. She ate and ate and ate. And ate some more. And justified it all. Without any guilt whatsoever. Isn't that wonderful? She did gain some weight, but most of it was what she needed to gain, and her skin also cleared up, and she glowed with happiness. She felt...well, healthy! Overall. I like this way of thinking (of course, right? ha). And actually, it's a bit how I've lived up here in New York so far. I basically eat what I want, when I want, and I enjoy it immensely. You wouldn't believe how much of a wonderful variety of food there is up here! So I gave up fast food without even trying. And I don't drink alcohol a lot. But it's not an issue of willpower. It's just not something I feel like need to do anymore, maybe because I feel so fulfilled in other areas of my life. And there's too many other things to try. The funny thing is, I've been losing weight. I really think diets are pointless. I think people need to concentrate on balancing their life and being joyful, and then maybe their food habits will adjust as their life adjusts.
Lately my thing has been black & white cookies. I swear, these are heaven. They are a NYC staple. I heard of them on Seinfeld, and got hooked when I worked at Roxy's. I got a great discount. In fact, the only reason I was sad about quitting Roxy's was losing my beloved black & white cookies. And since I only worked there a week, I'm a bit embarrassed to go back in. So, this results in me sending friends in "undercover" to buy cookies for me. It's a pain but no one else has black & white cookies like these! There is definitely a science to the perfect black & white cookie. Most bakeries don't do it right. Anyway, Pax and Europa Cafe do a decent version, so I've been able to get by with those and my "undercover" friends. I eat about one a day. I like the white part the best. Nina and Danielle thought I was really nice always giving them a bite of my cookie until they realized I always gave them the chocolate side because I don't like it as much. Nina totally called me out on it. Whoops!
As for the other sections of the book...I don't know if I'm becoming more spiritual up here, but I do I think I'm learning a lot about balance and other general things. Everything's still so new, and yet it's starting to feel like home. I've been thinking a lot about this summer. I did some things I'm not proud of. And I did something potentially very hurtful to someone else and then justified it all in my head with reasons that sound ridiculous now, from a distance. I'd like to think I'd do things differently now. I was a stupid naive kid, but I think maybe I needed to be stupid with my personal life just once. I never have been; always far too cautious and inhibited. But now I'm through being stupid and naive. I want to be a good person. I think I can be more uninhibited without making dramatic mistakes on purpose. I don't care if it takes a long time to get the things I want out of life. I'm not going to force them to happen faster. I'm happy with the pace things are going right now.
Anyway, the reason I'm bringing this book up is not to get into a deep discussion about meditation and life and all that complex stuff. I just wanted to talk about the first section of the book: the "pleasure" section. She spent her time in Italy doing nothing but enjoying herself. She ate and ate and ate. And ate some more. And justified it all. Without any guilt whatsoever. Isn't that wonderful? She did gain some weight, but most of it was what she needed to gain, and her skin also cleared up, and she glowed with happiness. She felt...well, healthy! Overall. I like this way of thinking (of course, right? ha). And actually, it's a bit how I've lived up here in New York so far. I basically eat what I want, when I want, and I enjoy it immensely. You wouldn't believe how much of a wonderful variety of food there is up here! So I gave up fast food without even trying. And I don't drink alcohol a lot. But it's not an issue of willpower. It's just not something I feel like need to do anymore, maybe because I feel so fulfilled in other areas of my life. And there's too many other things to try. The funny thing is, I've been losing weight. I really think diets are pointless. I think people need to concentrate on balancing their life and being joyful, and then maybe their food habits will adjust as their life adjusts.
Lately my thing has been black & white cookies. I swear, these are heaven. They are a NYC staple. I heard of them on Seinfeld, and got hooked when I worked at Roxy's. I got a great discount. In fact, the only reason I was sad about quitting Roxy's was losing my beloved black & white cookies. And since I only worked there a week, I'm a bit embarrassed to go back in. So, this results in me sending friends in "undercover" to buy cookies for me. It's a pain but no one else has black & white cookies like these! There is definitely a science to the perfect black & white cookie. Most bakeries don't do it right. Anyway, Pax and Europa Cafe do a decent version, so I've been able to get by with those and my "undercover" friends. I eat about one a day. I like the white part the best. Nina and Danielle thought I was really nice always giving them a bite of my cookie until they realized I always gave them the chocolate side because I don't like it as much. Nina totally called me out on it. Whoops!
As for the other sections of the book...I don't know if I'm becoming more spiritual up here, but I do I think I'm learning a lot about balance and other general things. Everything's still so new, and yet it's starting to feel like home. I've been thinking a lot about this summer. I did some things I'm not proud of. And I did something potentially very hurtful to someone else and then justified it all in my head with reasons that sound ridiculous now, from a distance. I'd like to think I'd do things differently now. I was a stupid naive kid, but I think maybe I needed to be stupid with my personal life just once. I never have been; always far too cautious and inhibited. But now I'm through being stupid and naive. I want to be a good person. I think I can be more uninhibited without making dramatic mistakes on purpose. I don't care if it takes a long time to get the things I want out of life. I'm not going to force them to happen faster. I'm happy with the pace things are going right now.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
yum
I had a really fantastic weekend. Andrea came into town! So along with Paul, we had some adventures and spent a ton of money. We went to Macy's. I hadn't been yet. It's absolutely amazing. I didn't know a department store could have three Starbucks in it. We saw two musicals (Legally Blonde and Xanadu). Paul showed us lots of "hole in the wall" restaurants that "locals" eat at. And if that weren't enough...we discovered heaven in the form of chocolate! MAX'S...oh my god. Andrea and I were trying to find a place to eat without Paul's help. We were wandering around Union Square and just happened to stumble into this random place. It turned out to be a restaurant with a (drum roll, please...) CHOCOLATE BAR. They had the best chocolate I've ever had. We had an appetizer of chocolate (free samples), then regular food (which was also wonderful), and then a huge serving of fondu for dessert. The fondu came with bananas, strawberries, marshmallows we got to roast, ice cream, whip cream, candy, a chocolate shot, and to stop it all off, pop rocks! Doesn't that sound miraculous? It was. We couldn't believe our luck. It's my new favorite place.
It was so nice to have an excuse to eat out, shop, and do the fun things I haven't really allowed myself to do since I've been in New York. So many thanks to Andrea!
It was so nice to have an excuse to eat out, shop, and do the fun things I haven't really allowed myself to do since I've been in New York. So many thanks to Andrea!
Monday, December 3, 2007
the wonder of it all
Ahh, snow. I woke up yesterday morning to happily realize that it still hasn't lost it's magic. Everything else loses it's magic eventually. For me. Times Square is an example (although with a couple of drinks and good friends it becomes somewhat magical again).
Remember when you were little, and you'd peer out your window to see nothing but white on the ground? It happened so rarely that when it did, nothing could possibly make you happier. Half an inch of snow and it changed your entire world for a day or two. No school. Miniature snowmen (the amount of Texas snow doesn't exactly lend itself to beautiful ice sculptures, but that was fine). Neighbors. Friends. Best of all, snow ice cream (mom's special recipe).
Yesterday I woke up, looked out the window, and saw a landscape of white. The world didn't stop. I still had to go to work and run errands and be a somewhat responsible adult. But it truly didn't matter. The whole day was still magical.
Tonight I had a great night out shopping with Nina and Danielle. We each spent a lot of money to get necessary items (skinny jeans, socks, Cinnabon, house slippers, Victoria Secret comfy adorable oversized sleep shirts). We stopped by Macy's holiday window display as part of the night's festivities. It was absolutely beautiful. And there were strangers just gathered all around in awe.
On the way home, I was so bundled up that I wasn't too terribly cold, and yet it started snowing. I was walking in this beautiful snow falling down, and I wasn't too cold, and I felt like I was inside a snowglobe. It was all very vivid, calming, and picturesque. Anyway, what I'm trying to get at is: for the first time this year it truly felt like Christmas. Yes, the holiday season has arrived!
I don't want to think that I'm going to get used to the snow. Or worse, sick of it. That time will come when it must. Right now I want to cling on to every last bit of magic I can, because it's all disappearing so quickly.
Remember when you were little, and you'd peer out your window to see nothing but white on the ground? It happened so rarely that when it did, nothing could possibly make you happier. Half an inch of snow and it changed your entire world for a day or two. No school. Miniature snowmen (the amount of Texas snow doesn't exactly lend itself to beautiful ice sculptures, but that was fine). Neighbors. Friends. Best of all, snow ice cream (mom's special recipe).
Yesterday I woke up, looked out the window, and saw a landscape of white. The world didn't stop. I still had to go to work and run errands and be a somewhat responsible adult. But it truly didn't matter. The whole day was still magical.
Tonight I had a great night out shopping with Nina and Danielle. We each spent a lot of money to get necessary items (skinny jeans, socks, Cinnabon, house slippers, Victoria Secret comfy adorable oversized sleep shirts). We stopped by Macy's holiday window display as part of the night's festivities. It was absolutely beautiful. And there were strangers just gathered all around in awe.
On the way home, I was so bundled up that I wasn't too terribly cold, and yet it started snowing. I was walking in this beautiful snow falling down, and I wasn't too cold, and I felt like I was inside a snowglobe. It was all very vivid, calming, and picturesque. Anyway, what I'm trying to get at is: for the first time this year it truly felt like Christmas. Yes, the holiday season has arrived!
I don't want to think that I'm going to get used to the snow. Or worse, sick of it. That time will come when it must. Right now I want to cling on to every last bit of magic I can, because it's all disappearing so quickly.
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