eat pray love

So, I'm reading this fantastic book called Eat Pray Love. You may have heard of it; it's a Times bestseller. It's incredibly inspiring. This woman was unhappy for awhile and she couldn't figure out why. She was just unhappy. One day she woke up and couldn't take anymore. She realized that something HAD to change. So she decided to changed everything about her life. She got a divorce. She decided to travel the world for a year: four months in Italy, four months in India, and four months in Indonesia. She wanted to experience pleasure in Italy, spirituality in India, and a balance in Indonesia.

Anyway, the reason I'm bringing this book up is not to get into a deep discussion about meditation and life and all that complex stuff. I just wanted to talk about the first section of the book: the "pleasure" section. She spent her time in Italy doing nothing but enjoying herself. She ate and ate and ate. And ate some more. And justified it all. Without any guilt whatsoever. Isn't that wonderful? She did gain some weight, but most of it was what she needed to gain, and her skin also cleared up, and she glowed with happiness. She felt...well, healthy! Overall. I like this way of thinking (of course, right? ha). And actually, it's a bit how I've lived up here in New York so far. I basically eat what I want, when I want, and I enjoy it immensely. You wouldn't believe how much of a wonderful variety of food there is up here! So I gave up fast food without even trying. And I don't drink alcohol a lot. But it's not an issue of willpower. It's just not something I feel like need to do anymore, maybe because I feel so fulfilled in other areas of my life. And there's too many other things to try. The funny thing is, I've been losing weight. I really think diets are pointless. I think people need to concentrate on balancing their life and being joyful, and then maybe their food habits will adjust as their life adjusts.

Lately my thing has been black & white cookies. I swear, these are heaven. They are a NYC staple. I heard of them on Seinfeld, and got hooked when I worked at Roxy's. I got a great discount. In fact, the only reason I was sad about quitting Roxy's was losing my beloved black & white cookies. And since I only worked there a week, I'm a bit embarrassed to go back in. So, this results in me sending friends in "undercover" to buy cookies for me. It's a pain but no one else has black & white cookies like these! There is definitely a science to the perfect black & white cookie. Most bakeries don't do it right. Anyway, Pax and Europa Cafe do a decent version, so I've been able to get by with those and my "undercover" friends. I eat about one a day. I like the white part the best. Nina and Danielle thought I was really nice always giving them a bite of my cookie until they realized I always gave them the chocolate side because I don't like it as much. Nina totally called me out on it. Whoops!

As for the other sections of the book...I don't know if I'm becoming more spiritual up here, but I do I think I'm learning a lot about balance and other general things. Everything's still so new, and yet it's starting to feel like home. I've been thinking a lot about this summer. I did some things I'm not proud of. And I did something potentially very hurtful to someone else and then justified it all in my head with reasons that sound ridiculous now, from a distance. I'd like to think I'd do things differently now. I was a stupid naive kid, but I think maybe I needed to be stupid with my personal life just once. I never have been; always far too cautious and inhibited. But now I'm through being stupid and naive. I want to be a good person. I think I can be more uninhibited without making dramatic mistakes on purpose. I don't care if it takes a long time to get the things I want out of life. I'm not going to force them to happen faster. I'm happy with the pace things are going right now.