mikah takes manhattan

new beginnings

2011-02-03T13:29:00.000-08:00

Hello, blog! Long time no see.

I'm now well into the 3rd year of my NYC experience.

It's time to rethink the way I've been approaching things.

"My goal has always been to have adventures. THAT'S why I moved to New York." This is what I would tell people, and myself, when asked about my career-related goals, and why I haven't made any steps forward with performance-related things. While this is a true statement in itself (I've always been restless and had a burning curiousity about what else is out there in the world), I'm now starting to think this might have been a cop-out. Something I would say to make me feel better about not living up to my full potential.

Lately I've been exploring other options (I thought about training to become a holistic nutritionist. I even thought about being a teacher, which I've always had such a huge block against). The reality of living life as an actor finally hit me full force. Growing up in Stephenville, Texas, I had such an idealistic romantic view of the struggling artist. But actually moving here and experiencing it is a different story. You see extremely talented people not getting work. You see people still wearing a poodle skirt at the diner in their 40s. Then you start thinking about aging. And realize you'll have a complete lack of security for the majority of your life, most likely, even if you are successful some of the time. It's scary.

So I think these three stagnant years have been me stalling, procrastinating, not making once decision or another. Too scared to jump right in, but not ready to give up the dream just yet. (Disclaimer: I HAVE made leaps forward in other areas of my life. I'm proud to have discovered veganism, which has changed the way I look at everything. I'm a million times healthier. I've made truly wonderful close friends. And I've done my fair share of living the NYC lifestyle.)

After considering so many other directions my life could go, I've finally realized that I DON'T want to do anything else. I have so much love for musical theatre. I still want to be a performer. A struggling artist. I'm ready to full commit to a life of uncertainty.

It's time to move forward and make things happen.

happy summer!

2008-06-21T18:35:00.000-07:00

It's Saturday night. I'm drinking Coors Light and eating pizza, and pasta, and a lot of stuff that's really horrible for me. By myself. It's the best night I've had in a long time.

I'm watching Just Friends, that not-so-wonderful Ryan Reynolds movie where he loses all that weight. But can we take this moment to talk about the genius that is Anna Faris? This girl deserves every good thing coming her way. I think she's impossibly funny. She plays the best dumb blonde ever. I can't WAIT for House Bunny to come out.

So, I'm a vegetarian now and it's hard as hell. I find myself eating a lot of pasta and french fries, which is going to make me gain weight. Obviously. Anyway, the reason I'm trying this is because of the book Skinny Bitch. It was a complete accident. That book tricks you. It's a vegan lifestyle book but you don't find that out until you're about halfway through it! Then it starts talking about animal cruelty and all that good stuff. Before the book I was always able to pretend I wasn't eating dead animal flesh, and now I can't. I know I always start projects and never finish them, but I really think I might stick with this for awhile. It's been a month so far. It's just really tough.

All my friends are moving up to New York in August. I'm so excited. I'm glad I was here for a year by myself first, though. I got to know new people without a crutch.

i hit the jackpot, man

2008-05-25T09:04:00.001-07:00

I won a year supply of Crystal Light and 300 bucks in Laser surgery!

(??)

Wow. I never win anything. But what am I going to do with all that Crystal Light?

a year of firsts

2008-05-18T22:49:00.001-07:00

I've been in New York for almost 8 months now. Since October. That's so odd to me! People are graduating. This is the first year I haven't been in a classroom.

It's about to be summer again...this time last year I was starting my Kentucky adventure. I wonder what this summer will be like. A part of me wants to pretend like I'm still in college and do nothing but party. But I'm an adult now and my career doesn't allow summer vacations. Especially when I don't make the most of the rest of the year.

Gosh, I keep learning new things about myself. A lot of them are negative. But that's okay, because I'm learning how to fix it all. For example: I am a total lazy ass procrastinator. Well, I guess I knew that already. But I'm learning how to keep a schedule and keep myself motivated. Really. But also, this is the first time I've been completely on my own. I relied on my parents way too much growing up. And I had a group of best friends. Then I went off to college, met Grace, and we quickly became inseparable. This the first time I don't really have anybody at all, and it's kind of freeing. I'm having to adjust, and it's a good thing.

Despite everything, I'm very content right now. Everything seems to be okay.

I'm doing Bikram yoga (aka "hot" yoga)...it's teaching me discipline. It's just about the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, so when you get out of class you feel like you can do ANYTHING! Everything else in life seems so simple in comparison, and lovely. And you also sweat so much that it gets all the toxins out.

And I want a dog! Like, really bad.

mikah the composer

2008-03-11T11:24:00.001-07:00

A recent blog by one of my college friends brought back a memory that makes me smile.

When I was in 2nd grade, Andrea and I were going to start a band. It was going to be called "BFF: Best Friends Forever." I remember parts of our first song. "The grass is green, the sky is blue. You like me, and I like you." So simple! Is that really how simple life was back then? Or were we just trying to put together any words that rhyme? I'm guessing a little of both. :)

The rest of the lyrics were various phrases like..."the dolphins swim", "the birds fly", and my personal favorite: "the ladybugs crawl." I don't really remember the rest: maybe she does? But we would dance around on the Chamberlin school playground coming up with this "song." The song had a tune that wasn't very melodic and changed almost every day, but still, we just knew it was going to make us famous.

In a way, I'm still this idealistic and naive. I still have this [sometimes ridiculous] hope for all these many projects I start. I still think that someday in the future something miraculously wonderful is going to happen to me. The difference is that now things get so complicated. When I focus on the future I see a lot of obstacles and hoops to jump through. Sometimes it all gets so complicated that I just want to go back to skipping around on the playground singing nonsensical rhymes.

inspiration

2008-02-27T20:24:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Nina and Grace, I am once again motivated!

Here's the deal. Nina and I have the same days off of work. We are going to start going to dance classes next week. 4 a week (2 jazz, 1 tap, 1 musical theatre). We are also going to go jogging in Central Park at least once a week, as weather permits. We are also going to start volunteering with New York Cares. We have our first orientation set up for Thursday. All of this is in my planner so it's official and I can't back out. I am going to be a wonderful busy person.

That's all.

ooh, reality tv

2008-02-08T09:44:00.000-08:00

I went to my first audition recently. It was for MTV's reality TV show "Find the Next Elle Woods!" I straightened my hair and then curled it into big soft curls, and then wore this pink and black kinda leopard print wrap dress thing. I looked so damn cute. I showed up 3 hours before the call is supposed to start, and there was already this line of about 80 little sorority girls in front of me. Then...it started snowing. It snowed hard. And didn't let up for a single minute of those 3 hours I waited. It was actually kind of funny in a not so funny way. When we finally got in, we had to wait longer. I finally get in the actual audition room. There were about 15 people in the audience. Kate Shindle, the dance captain for Legally Blonde, Bernie Telsey, the writers, the director, MTV folk, the list goes on and on. Everyone was really really nice. I got on stage and proceeded to embarrass myself beyond belief. The accompanist screwed up my song to where it was unrecognizable. I think she was even switching time signatures; I don't know what the hell she was doing. My voice wasn't it's best because I was out in the snow for 3 hours. And these factors shook me to where I mixed up the words. It was the worst audition I've ever given in my entire life. And in front of all these important people. I wanted to die.

Oh, and I forgot. Right after my audition I had to rush over to 51st and Broadway, throw on a poodle skirt, and sing and wait tables until midnight. What a fantastic way to end the day!

my new friends are talented.

2008-01-26T13:04:00.001-08:00

Holy crap...can you believe I work with these people?
Check out some of their music if you have a few minutes...it's beautiful.

Ben
my favorite song: Fall in Line

Sarah
my favorite song: Not Now

They make me want to write my own music.

all or nothing

2008-01-12T04:16:00.001-08:00

So sometimes I'm incredibly inspired and sometimes I'm so lazy and I just sit on my butt all day. I hate when I do that. It's always all or nothing with me. With everything. I get so excited about things, and start so many projects, but then never finish them. I can't follow through. It's like I use all my energy up on being excited at the start and then I have nothing left. Frustrating.

I have so many big ideas about this new year, so many things I want to accomplish. The problem is that they all seem to be linked together. It seems to me like I can't do one without the other. Like, I want to start going on auditions, but to do that I feel like I need to get in shape, start taking classes, go to the dermatologist, and get new headshots. Okay.. But I can't get new headshots without going to the dermatologist, getting my hair done, and getting in shape first! And I shouldn't really go the gym until I completely get rid of this sick thing I have that doesn't seem to be going away. And I don't want to start taking classes until I'm well, my skin is better, and I'm in shape. And on top of all that, everything I need to do costs a ton of money and I need to space it all out to save. It's like a never ending puzzle. I can't figure out what I need to start with, so I'm sitting in limbo, waiting for something to happen to me. Why can't I just suck it up and jump in?

Probably the gym would be a good starting point. But...yuck.
I should use my "all or nothingness" on the gym. Maybe I could get myself addicted to exercise. Now THAT would be a good phase to go through.

new years day

2008-01-09T19:00:00.000-08:00

New Years Day was one of my best days in New York so far. I went to Central Park for the first time by myself. Everything about it was beautiful. The weather was even beautiful and that's really rare lately. I'm sorry I'm always going on and on about how beautiful everything in life is, but I can't help it! There are lots of ugly things too, but why go on and on about them? Where's the fun in that?

I didn't have my camera with me, so pictures from my sprint phone will have to suffice. It doesn't really capture the feeling of the day, but I tried.

personality

2007-12-31T06:09:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking about this lately. Why do I like to blog? I said I started so I could keep in touch with friends, but that hasn't really been the case. Blogging is actually kind of useless. So why continue? I have a couple of theories.

One reason I blog: I like to write.

Another reason I blog: To help keep my mind in order. I am, by nature, a mess. Scatterbrained, unorganized, whatever you want to call it. Writing down my thoughts helps me put everything together.

And the main reason I blog: I adore talking about myself! I used to feel very guilty about this, but now I just revel in it. I can't help that I find myself fascinating. But I also find all other people fascinating. I love learning about what makes people tick.

And on that note...I want to talk about the Meyers-Briggs personality test! I love it. It's like reading your horoscope profile, but actually based in some kind of reality.

I am an ENFP. Extroverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving. I think. I've taken a million of these tests, and they all come out saying that, but it's always a close race between introvert and extrovert. The ENFP is a "Champion Idealist." It's almost scary how well it describes me. Short attention span, no eye for detail, restless, and check this out: "ENFPs almost always have a strong need to be liked. Sometimes, especially at a younger age, an ENFP will tend to be "gushy" and insincere, and generally "overdo" in an effort to win acceptance. However, once an ENFP has learned to balance their need to be true to themselves with their need for acceptance, they excel at bringing out the best in others, and are typically well-liked." I really think that hits the nail right on the head. Here's a short but sweet summary. What do you guys think? I know that some of it describes what how I want to be seen and not how I really am, but some of it really does fit me perfectly.

If you don't know your type and want to take the test, here's a decent one. And here's another. Let me know what you are! It might explain why we get along so well. Or why we clash. :) Fun, right?

currently reading: don't know much about history by kenneth c. davis
currently listening to: les demoiselles de rochefort soundtrack

fresh start

2007-12-26T20:35:00.001-08:00

I just realized most of my blogs are about food. This one isn't. It's the typical New Years Resolutions blog, and if you'll notice, there's not one thing in it about dieting or black & white cookies or anything. Yeah, I'm awesome. So here goes:

1. Start taking classes and auditioning. By word of mouth, I've found a vocal coach and a good dance studio both decently priced. Now I just have to find some kind of acting or improvisational class and I'm all set.

2. While getting back into theatre, I want to stay balanced. Have other interests besides theatre. After all, theatre is now my profession and I don't want it to be my only hobby too. I've always been interested in philosophy but I'm pretty ignorant so I think I'm actually going to take this weekly intro to philosophy class. I saw an ad on the subway and I think it's fate. Along these lines, I want to read more. Not just trashy chick lit, but things that might actually improve my mind. Oh, and fairy tales. I know that sounds silly but I bought two complete leather bound sets of fairy tales (one Grimm, one Hans Christian Anderson) and I can't wait to dive into them. Have you ever read the real Little Mermaid? Creepy, man. There's something about original fairy tales that's so fascinating to me. Something about the contrast of darkness and happily ever afters.

3. Stay organized. I realize I'll never be super clean (blame it on my creative side, ha), but I can make a decent attempt. When my room is cluttered my mind is cluttered; it's true. You'd think that would be motivation enough to clean. But damn...it isn't.

4. Get my finances in order. Actually create a budget and stick to it. (I'm such an adult.)

I think that's all I can put on the list if I want to get anything specific accomplished at all.

So, 2008, eh? A completely brand new year. In the city. I can't believe that I'm actually "being" that starving artist I talked about being for so long. It's odd, but I wasn't ever afraid. I like that. I like that I just jumped into it. I want to approach everything in life that way. I think if you just take chances, doors will open. They may not be the doors you expect, so you have to watch carefully, but they'll open nonetheless. Suck it up and go for whatever you want. We were not born to settle into routine and pay taxes. We were born to create and explore. There's so much more out there. So...(I hope this doesn't sound pretentious, because I'm trying to take my own advice) if anyone is reading this, I hope you feel a bit inspired to go out and take pictures, smile at strangers, shake up the scene around you, and fall a little in love with life.

Happy New Years! I love you guys.

eat pray love

2007-12-20T19:15:00.000-08:00

So, I'm reading this fantastic book called Eat Pray Love. You may have heard of it; it's a Times bestseller. It's incredibly inspiring. This woman was unhappy for awhile and she couldn't figure out why. She was just unhappy. One day she woke up and couldn't take anymore. She realized that something HAD to change. So she decided to changed everything about her life. She got a divorce. She decided to travel the world for a year: four months in Italy, four months in India, and four months in Indonesia. She wanted to experience pleasure in Italy, spirituality in India, and a balance in Indonesia.

Anyway, the reason I'm bringing this book up is not to get into a deep discussion about meditation and life and all that complex stuff. I just wanted to talk about the first section of the book: the "pleasure" section. She spent her time in Italy doing nothing but enjoying herself. She ate and ate and ate. And ate some more. And justified it all. Without any guilt whatsoever. Isn't that wonderful? She did gain some weight, but most of it was what she needed to gain, and her skin also cleared up, and she glowed with happiness. She felt...well, healthy! Overall. I like this way of thinking (of course, right? ha). And actually, it's a bit how I've lived up here in New York so far. I basically eat what I want, when I want, and I enjoy it immensely. You wouldn't believe how much of a wonderful variety of food there is up here! So I gave up fast food without even trying. And I don't drink alcohol a lot. But it's not an issue of willpower. It's just not something I feel like need to do anymore, maybe because I feel so fulfilled in other areas of my life. And there's too many other things to try. The funny thing is, I've been losing weight. I really think diets are pointless. I think people need to concentrate on balancing their life and being joyful, and then maybe their food habits will adjust as their life adjusts.

Lately my thing has been black & white cookies. I swear, these are heaven. They are a NYC staple. I heard of them on Seinfeld, and got hooked when I worked at Roxy's. I got a great discount. In fact, the only reason I was sad about quitting Roxy's was losing my beloved black & white cookies. And since I only worked there a week, I'm a bit embarrassed to go back in. So, this results in me sending friends in "undercover" to buy cookies for me. It's a pain but no one else has black & white cookies like these! There is definitely a science to the perfect black & white cookie. Most bakeries don't do it right. Anyway, Pax and Europa Cafe do a decent version, so I've been able to get by with those and my "undercover" friends. I eat about one a day. I like the white part the best. Nina and Danielle thought I was really nice always giving them a bite of my cookie until they realized I always gave them the chocolate side because I don't like it as much. Nina totally called me out on it. Whoops!

As for the other sections of the book...I don't know if I'm becoming more spiritual up here, but I do I think I'm learning a lot about balance and other general things. Everything's still so new, and yet it's starting to feel like home. I've been thinking a lot about this summer. I did some things I'm not proud of. And I did something potentially very hurtful to someone else and then justified it all in my head with reasons that sound ridiculous now, from a distance. I'd like to think I'd do things differently now. I was a stupid naive kid, but I think maybe I needed to be stupid with my personal life just once. I never have been; always far too cautious and inhibited. But now I'm through being stupid and naive. I want to be a good person. I think I can be more uninhibited without making dramatic mistakes on purpose. I don't care if it takes a long time to get the things I want out of life. I'm not going to force them to happen faster. I'm happy with the pace things are going right now.

yum

2007-12-11T21:48:00.001-08:00

I had a really fantastic weekend. Andrea came into town! So along with Paul, we had some adventures and spent a ton of money. We went to Macy's. I hadn't been yet. It's absolutely amazing. I didn't know a department store could have three Starbucks in it. We saw two musicals (Legally Blonde and Xanadu). Paul showed us lots of "hole in the wall" restaurants that "locals" eat at. And if that weren't enough...we discovered heaven in the form of chocolate! MAX'S...oh my god. Andrea and I were trying to find a place to eat without Paul's help. We were wandering around Union Square and just happened to stumble into this random place. It turned out to be a restaurant with a (drum roll, please...) CHOCOLATE BAR. They had the best chocolate I've ever had. We had an appetizer of chocolate (free samples), then regular food (which was also wonderful), and then a huge serving of fondu for dessert. The fondu came with bananas, strawberries, marshmallows we got to roast, ice cream, whip cream, candy, a chocolate shot, and to stop it all off, pop rocks! Doesn't that sound miraculous? It was. We couldn't believe our luck. It's my new favorite place.

It was so nice to have an excuse to eat out, shop, and do the fun things I haven't really allowed myself to do since I've been in New York. So many thanks to Andrea!

the wonder of it all

2007-12-03T19:47:00.001-08:00

Ahh, snow. I woke up yesterday morning to happily realize that it still hasn't lost it's magic. Everything else loses it's magic eventually. For me. Times Square is an example (although with a couple of drinks and good friends it becomes somewhat magical again).

Remember when you were little, and you'd peer out your window to see nothing but white on the ground? It happened so rarely that when it did, nothing could possibly make you happier. Half an inch of snow and it changed your entire world for a day or two. No school. Miniature snowmen (the amount of Texas snow doesn't exactly lend itself to beautiful ice sculptures, but that was fine). Neighbors. Friends. Best of all, snow ice cream (mom's special recipe).

Yesterday I woke up, looked out the window, and saw a landscape of white. The world didn't stop. I still had to go to work and run errands and be a somewhat responsible adult. But it truly didn't matter. The whole day was still magical.

Tonight I had a great night out shopping with Nina and Danielle. We each spent a lot of money to get necessary items (skinny jeans, socks, Cinnabon, house slippers, Victoria Secret comfy adorable oversized sleep shirts). We stopped by Macy's holiday window display as part of the night's festivities. It was absolutely beautiful. And there were strangers just gathered all around in awe.

On the way home, I was so bundled up that I wasn't too terribly cold, and yet it started snowing. I was walking in this beautiful snow falling down, and I wasn't too cold, and I felt like I was inside a snowglobe. It was all very vivid, calming, and picturesque. Anyway, what I'm trying to get at is: for the first time this year it truly felt like Christmas. Yes, the holiday season has arrived!

I don't want to think that I'm going to get used to the snow. Or worse, sick of it. That time will come when it must. Right now I want to cling on to every last bit of magic I can, because it's all disappearing so quickly.

sigh of relief

2007-11-28T10:00:00.000-08:00

Well, life's good now. Things got a little worse before they got better. My ipod was stolen at work the day after Thanksgiving. The thing is, I didn't even freak out about it. I'm okay. I can afford to buy another one. Go me. (Although, wouldn't it have been nice to put that 250 bucks towards something else, like a phone that doesn't look like it's from the 80s, or perhaps Christmas presents?! Sigh. Anyway. Moving on.)

Good Things That Have Happened Lately:

1. Nicer customers.
2. Better tipping customers.
3. Everything at work seems so EASY now compared to that one hellish day.
4. I'm getting to know some of my coworkers, and I like them a lot. They seem to like me okay too.
5. I saw Enchanted. I can't profess enough love for this movie. It's the best I've seen in a long time. This movie is beautiful, charming, inspiring, just altogether fantastic. It's getting rave reviews across the board, especially for the endearing lead "princess" Amy Adams. I walked out of the movie theatre feeling so optimistic and excited about life. And that feeling hasn't really left since. I've been walking around giggling, singing, enjoying the weather, smiling at frowny people. Yeah, I'm probably annoying as hell, but I don't care one iota!
6. I did laundry. FINALLY. Whew. That's such a relief.

Unfortunately, I am still a little sick. It doesn't seem to want to leave. I think all the sickness that exists in New York City attacked me and my immune system is all frantic like, "whoa! What are these new germs? These aren't the germs down in Texas." I've been fighting it with everything you could possibly imagine: Mucinex, Airborne, Emergen-C, tea, water, Echinogea, Zicam, extra sleep, you name it I've tried it. I'm giving it my all. I WILL kick this thing.

happy thanksgiving? ha!

2007-11-22T18:54:00.001-08:00

As some of you know, I had to work every day this week. Including Thankgiving, which was today.

Today was one of the worst days of my life. I'm not being dramatic. Okay, maybe I'm being a little dramatic. But it's justified.

I just don't understand how people can honestly be so cruel. I run into some of the worst people in the world while waiting tables. It's Thanksgiving day. Our diner is actually ON Broadway, which is where the parade runs, so you can imagine..as soon as the parade was over, we were SLAMMED. Any sane person could see that I was running like hell to get everyone's drinks and orders in. And then jumping up to sing in the middle of it all. I didn't have a single break from 9am until after 8pm. I didn't stop to eat. I didn't stop to take a sip of water. And as a consequence, I just about fainted at the end of the day. But do people care about this at all? Do people care that I'm working Thanksgiving holiday; I'm serving them on THANKGIVING DAY, when I should be with my family and friends? Of COURSE NOT. Where's your fucking holiday spirit? I'm the nicest person ever to my tables. If you can't bring yourself to be polite to a waiter working on Thanksgiving holiday to serve and entertain your snobby selfish ass, then I feel sorry for you.

I'm so angry right now. Once I sleep I'll feel better, but right now, I don't think I've ever been this sad and frustrated with people.

On the bright side, some folks were very nice. I wish I could just focus on that and think about the nice people out there. People that left me a large tip on top of the automatic gratuity. People that wished me a sincere happy holiday season.

Also, when I was shoving through everyone trying to get to work, I saw one float of the Macy's Parade. And it had Dolly Parton on it. That was cool.

stardust

2007-11-05T07:43:00.000-08:00

Where I work now.

slow down

2007-11-04T11:11:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I try so hard to stay in control that I miss out on the little pleasures in life. I try so incredibly hard not to look naive, that I become more cynical than I want to be.

I want to slow down. I want to take my time and marvel at this wonderful world. At this wonderful city. I want to take pictures. I want to be a tourist. I don't want to care what other people think.

I want to make mistakes. I don't want to anticipate the things that are going to go wrong. I want to be surprised, both pleasantly and unpleasantly. I want to take chances.

I want that childlike innocence and curiosity about everything and everyone in my life.

I'm a waitress trying to be a performer in New York City. I have to accept that. I'm a total cliche and I can't pretend I'm not. But I have to be proud of my career choice, and own up to it in front of other people. I don't have to always make jokes about it. I don't have to make excuses for what I'm doing with my life.

happy halloween

2007-11-02T00:49:00.000-07:00

I was at work, feeling sorry for myself as usual. Looking outside at everyone in their costumes. They all looked like they were having such fun. I was sure most of them were all going to huge wonderful parties to have the time of their life. And the rest of them were going to the parade. I was standing in front of the door, hostessing, being fake nice, freezing my butt off, prepared to stay until midnight or 1 in the morning.

THEN my wonderful amazing magnificent boss Tony saunters up to me. And says, "you want to go home?" I thought I was hearing things. I had him repeat it. It was a slow night. He didn't need me for the night. I COULD GO HOME.

All of a sudden, my mood changed! I was the happiest girl in the world! My heart was light and joyful! I WAS FREE! I think the subway ride home was the most joyful time I've spent in New York so far. I felt like jumping up and serenading all the stoic silent people next to me.

But that's not all. That's not the end of this oddly wonderful night.

I got a phone call from my roommate inviting me to a Halloween party. Costume not necessary. So I spontaneously hopped back on the subway and headed back into the city. It's not until I met up with her and started heading to the party when it hit me that she works for Xanadu (backstage assistant) and we were headed to the Xanadu Broadway cast party. We walked in to the upstairs section of the fancy-schmancy bar. It was a small invite-only party, so Danielle had to tell the door guy "who we knew". We got tickets for free drinks. I was suddenly immersed in all these industry people, some I recognized from pictures. Then...Kerry Butler and Cheyenne Jackson showed up. I couldn't believe I was at a party with these people I look up to so incredibly much. But I couldn't talk to them. I was at a party with them, and could talk to the people Danielle knew -- some musicians, some backstage crew...but not the actors. I didn't want to look like a crazy theatre fan. I was trying so hard to blend in and look cool.

In a way, it was frustrating. It was like...so close, and yet so far away. Half of me felt like I belonged there and fit in perfectly. The other half of me realized that I was light years away from actually BEING THERE.

Still, the night inspired me. I want to start auditioning again.

It's funny the little things that make you happy. It's funny the little things that make your LIFE. But thank goodness for them.

good news and bad news

2007-10-31T09:23:00.001-07:00

I have good news and bad news. Which would you like to hear first?

The good news? Great.

I got a new job that is hopefully going to make me a lot happier than my current one. It's the singing waitress job at Ellen's Stardust Diner. Also on Times Square. Also a huge tourist attraction. I am going to be wearing a poodle skirt and singing karaoke for a living. However cheesy this sounds, the pay is much much (MUCH) better than my current job. Oh, and another plus is that I finally get to randomly burst into song without annoying people. I couldn't be happier. I feel like I'm finally taking a step forward, and even though it's a very small step, I think it will lead to good things.

The bad news? The very very (VERY) bad news?

I'm not going to be able to come home for Christmas. That was their condition. If they hired me, no Christmas break. I'll have my "Christmas" break sometime in January. You have no idea how upset I am about this. I almost didn't take the job because of it.

Also, it wasn't fun telling my current boss that I was quitting after a mere week, leaving them without a hostess. Or, "hostessless."

So...I have an idea. I think everyone should come to New York for Christmas. Seriously. Leave your family (or heck - bring your family!), hop on a plane, stay with me. We'll have a tree, and hot chocolate, and presents. I'll cook a big Christmas dinner! Or, you know, we could go out. Either way. That would be so nice. And not so lonely.

work work work

2007-10-27T09:17:00.000-07:00

Okay now. I am absolutely exhausted. After spending hours "job hunting" on Craigslist (also known as "procrastinating"), and then subwaying my way all over Manhattan, I finally got a hostess job. On Times Square, where I wanted to be. However, it's a night job. I get there at 5PM, and don't leave until 1 or 2 in the morning, which means I don't get back home until 3. I need some night to myself! I love my nights. And half my coworkers are Italian, and the other half are Russian. I can't understand a thing that comes out of their mouths. And how am I supposed to memorize 20 names like "Yowanho" and "Jugme"?

However...everyone is really nice. It's a fun job. They are all guys, and they all keep asking me if I'm married. They like me. They might just be trying to become American citizens, I don't know. But they sneak me free cookies and cheesecake all the time.

music randomness

2007-10-23T08:35:00.001-07:00

A couple of things I thought you should all know:

1) I didn't bring my musicals here. That's right. My 5 big briefcases of music are at home in Stephenville. I have all my regular music here on my ipod, but no musicals. And I'm not missing them one bit.

2) It's like ipod heaven here. Everyone who's anyone wears an ipod everywhere.

3) I had to buy an alarm clock, so I convinced myself that an iHome is a good investment. Ha. But I love it. If you don't know what an iHome is, it's an alarm clock that plays your ipod as the alarm. And it charges it. It's pretty darn cool, and pretty much a waste of money.

4) A list: Songs I Love Right Now That Everyone Else Should Too:

friday i'm in love - the cure
anna begins - counting crows
little plastic castles - ani difranco
your untouchable face - ani difranco
dead end - the format
dog problems - the format
i want you - elvis costello
morningside - sara bareilles
so unsexy - alanis morrisette
boats and birds - gregory and the hawk
manifest destiny - guster
you know i'm no good - amy winehouse
i hope that i don't fall in love with you - tom waits
the nature anthem - grandaddy
mona lisas and madhatters - elton john

A long list but do yourself a favor and give them all a try. Some poppy and light, some achingly beautiful. All perfect for walking the streets of New York (or, you know, Dallas, Houston, Austin, Spain, or Stephenville).

i've arrived!

2007-10-20T08:47:00.000-07:00

So, I'm here! In New York City. I am officially a New Yorker (or technically, an Astorian) and I don't think I've ever been happier than I am this morning. It's a gorgeous fall day outside. I'm the Starbucks at Ditmars/31st in Astoria, which is great. The energy here is amazing. People are so nice. I feel like I'm a perfect fit for this place; I feel like I'm meant to be here. I already got a MetroCard and I'm planning on using it all day today since I have nothing incredibly important to do. I can't really start job hunting until Monday. Or at least that's what I'm telling myself because I don't feel like doing it today. I just feel like exploring and enjoying myself.

My apartment is unbelievable. It's kind of a miracle. Here's a few reasons why:

Bus stop on the corner
Quick commute to midtown
Laundromat on the corner
SAFE neighborhood
Backyard
Hardwood floors
Beautiful kitchen area with granite counters & bar
Good sized closet
Great roommate

The only drawbacks are the bad paint job and the 15 minute walk to the subway. Honestly, I don't even mind the walk. At least I didn't this morning. I'm sure in the middle of the bitter winter I'll change my mind.

And my room is SO CUTE (I'll take pictures when I'm done decorating)! And can you believe I have a good sized closet? And a backyard? And the neighborhood is gorgeous. I got up early and jogged this morning. I had to; it was too beautiful outside. Then I walked here, which is an adorable area. It's like a mini midtown, with more young artsy people than anyone else.

Last night was my parents' last night here. We had dinner with Danielle's family. I'm incredibly lucky to get a roommate as wonderful as her. I think we're going to get along really well. We're going into the city tonight to meet up with some guys Danielle met from work. I'm really excited to start meeting people!

On a side side note, I still have no desire to start auditioning and get back into "theatre mode." I am officially burned out. I DO want to take some random classes that are somewhat related to performing. I'd really like to take a good improv class. And maybe learn how to meditate. I think I need to "feed my soul" and feel inspired again before I jump back in.

I'm sorry this post is annoyingly happy, I just thought I'd take advantage of this joyous mood I'm in and write so I can remember it. I'll be sure and fill you in on all the crappy things that happen, too. :) But that hopefully won't be til much later...after the honeymoon phase is over!

substitute teaching

2007-10-06T08:39:00.000-07:00

Grace just called me from Spain (I miss her!!) and inspired me to write in my blog again. She's up there being an "au pair", which I sure don't know how to pronounce, but it means "nanny." I'm so envious.

I have a little over a week until my big move. I'm not taking hardly anything up there. My parents are flying with me, and we're each taking two suitcases filled with my clothes and books. This is the most I've ever had to downsize. It's probably a good thing. It's hard for me to simplify my life unless I'm forced to. Surprisingly, it was harder for me to decide which books to take than which clothes. Who would've thought?!

Ahhh, so what have I been doing with myself lately? Here, stuck in the middle of nowhere, with no company except for my parents, the donkeys, and the occasional weekend visitor (thank you Lara, Anna, and Melanie)...I've been teaching. Every day. And while there are moments I enjoy, on a whole I basically want to shoot myself. I don't know how much more I can take. Here are some highlights:

"Miss Mikah! Hunter just said 'friggin'!"
(after I said 'dang it'): huge gasp from everyone, one little girl says: "MISS MIKAH! say 'DARN it'! that's a nicer word!"
(from me): "Claire, please button your pants and get out from under the table. And stop coloring on Nick."
(on the playground, this little girl is bawling her face off...I thought she was hurt, so I get out my first aid kit, but then she says in between her tears): "Miss Mikah--(sob)--Chip won't push me--(sob)--on the merry-go-round!"

And I have to tell you...whoever invented this thing called the "tattle bag" was an absolute genius. It solves so much. Let me tell you a secret you might have known already: little kids LOVE to tattle. It's their favorite pastime. But apparently, they believe anything. There's a brown paper bag sitting in the corner of the classroom with "Tattle Bag" in it. Anytime someone comes up to me to complain or whine, I tell them to tell the tattle bag. And the crazy thing is, they actually do it! Happily! You should see their faces when they tell the tattle bag. They'll look at the person they are telling on, with this look that says "ha! I really showed you!" They are the most gullible little buggers ever!

Kids are a complete mystery to me. I don't think I'll ever understand them. I'm trying, though.

amazing

2007-09-20T19:35:00.000-07:00

WE FOUND AN APARTMENT!
It's in Astoria. Specifically, the Upper Ditmars area. I'm ecstatic.

Supposedly, it has nice wood floors, brand new kitchen appliances (including a stainless steel fridge), a backyard that only we have access to (we're on the first floor), and a decent sized closet. This sounds like a miracle for NYC. We'll see how it really looks when I get there. Danielle was pretty picky so I bet it'll be somewhat nice.

I'm moving the 17th of October, which is very very soon.

first blog ever

2007-09-12T10:01:00.000-07:00

I decided to start this blog because...well, I'm not really sure. Grace started one about her adventures in Spain, and so I thought it would be fun and fitting for me to start one about my New York adventures too. And I like writing. So here we are.

I have less than a month before I leave for NYC. I'm going up there to audition and "live the dream"(a.k.a. Be a Professional Waitress). Meanwhile I'm in Stephenville, Texas living with my parents. In the middle of nowhere. We have no neighbors. We DO have donkeys, lots of cats, and a big mutt named Cowboy. He's ugly as all get out (one blue eye and one brown) but really loveable. We also have hundreds of spiders. Every time I take a step outside I end up covered in spiderwebs. It's like I walked into one of my worst nightmares.

It's tough, this transition period. I graduated from Sam Houston in May, which was sad. Went straight to Kentucky and spent a summer doing outdoor theatre. I got to know so many wonderful people and had one of the best summers of my life, but of course all good things have to end. It's all so very bittersweet! Moving on, leaving people I love, over and over again...

Here's how I'm spending my time while stuck here:
1. Substitute teaching - I actually like this, sometimes. Kids can be cute. Come to think of it, I might not mind having one someday.
2. Yoga and "Turbo Jam!"
3. Donkeys - Never thought I would spend so much time hanging out with donkeys, but funny things happen when you have excessive free time.
4. Facebook and MySpace - Yeah. I've been a huge computer nerd!

The rest of my time is spent planning and dreaming about New York. I have a lot to look forward to. I can't wait to get going but there's nothing I can do to speed it up right now. Danielle (my super cool future roommate) is up there looking for an apartment as we speak. We're really hoping to find something in the Astoria/Long Island City area, but who knows what we'll end up with? I told her I'll take almost anything as long as it has a decent sized closet (which is a lot to ask for in New York, I know)!

Now, since this blog is really supposed to be about the incredibly exciting Big Apple, not TEXAS, that's all I'll write for now!